What Should I Do If My Kids Prefer Their Stepparent?
One of the best things you can do if you find yourself in this situation is to just continue showing your love and care for the kids. It may be difficult when there are so many thoughts going through your mind, but it's important to put your kids first.
Once a married couple has decided to get a divorce, a lot of things will change. Upon the issuance of the final decree for divorce of a court with proper jurisdiction, the marriage is considered dissolved. The said judgment may also include an order on how the child custody of the parents will be handled. In most cases, it is usually shared between the mother and father, which means that they will be granted a joint custody. However, in cases of disagreement and existence of some factual circumstances that may warrant a contrary order, the judge may appoint only one of the parents as the sole custodian.
Consider yourself lucky if you will be the party who will be declared as the custodian parent. In such instance, your former spouse may be given only visitation rights subject to certain terms and conditions. This is the ideal situation but there may be difficulty on the part of your kids to deal with this matter especially if they prefer to be with their step parent instead of being with you. The situation here is that your ex may have already remarried and the children have been introduced to a new person.
Do not worry because there is still something that you can do about it. Just continue showing your love and care for the kids. Avoid bringing them down by not showing up on your scheduled dates or special events at school. Do not make promises that you cannot fulfill for it may cause them to distrust you. At the same time, exert some effort in making them feel that you are always there for them whenever they need you. Children are the ones who are usually greatly affected by the divorce. Therefore, there is a need to deal with their issues as soon as possible.
Meanwhile, you can also talk to your custody lawyer and inquire on the possible steps that you may take in order to get your kids to spend more time with you. The lawyer can give you a sound advice on what you can do. If you are in good terms with your former spouse, you can also ask her to help you talk to the children and make them understand about the living arrangements or situation that they are currently in. Just relax and believe that everything is going to be okay. Do not put so much pressure on yourself, especially to the kids.
References: How To Cope When Your Kids Have a New Stepfather
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