More often than not, a divorce is not an amicable resolution to a long-standing problem with your marriage. It can be bitter, frustrating, emotionally taxing, and painful. Many people have succumbed to these feelings during their divorce proceedings. The bitterness that transcends the courtroom, flooding into your personal life becomes too much to bear. The endless hours of mediation seems like a brick wall of meaningless debates. Court dates may seem to extend far passed the time you expected it to take for a final judgment. Often times, people just want it all to end. Because of this, many walk away with much less than they should have, and far less than they deserve.assets being split after a divorce

Human beings are built with a limited tolerance of pain. People generally just want to be happy. When you take both of these facts and put them together, it's no wonder that to many, giving in seems like a better solution. However, giving in is easier, but that does not make it better. During a marriage, each party contributes to the building of the marital estate. Both parties contribute to the building of the marriage itself. It's not fair to walk away with nothing but a piece of paper saying it's over. That will not make you feel better. There are no real solutions for relinquishing these feelings, but there are things that you can do in order to remain strong, refreshed, and focused on what matters to you.

  • Before you begin divorce proceedings, pray for the best, plan for the worst. Don't go into it expecting everything to be a breeze. Plan for a long, hard road. Plan for a divorce battle to live up to its name. Doing this will allow you to become mentally prepared to stick it out to the end.
  • During the proceedings, remain vigilant in staying healthy. Divorce trials can be physically and emotionally draining. Prepare for it. Stay away from greasy foods, refrain from excessive drinking, get plenty of sleep, and exercise every morning. Try some cardiovascular routines in order to promote good circulation, heart, and lung strength. Believe me, it works.
  • During the evening, or after a day in court, try relaxing through meditation or yoga. Anything that you find relaxing. Even watching the fish swim around your tank in the living room. Just sitting quietly in a darkened room will help you to shed the stress and tension accumulated during the hustle and bustle of the hearing and the accompanying atmosphere.
  • Don't lose sight of your daily routine, and do not get sucked into the divorce proceedings. When you walk out of the court room, leave the case behind you. It is OK to prepare for the next date, but don't let it take over your entire life. Remember to live each day as best you can. Keep as true to your normal daily routine as possible. If the divorce has taken away your normal routine, spend time discovering a new one.

Finally, heed the advice of your lawyer. Remember that they provide more than just speaking on your behalf, they are fighting for what is best for you. An experienced family attorney is able to look at your case through an unemotional lens, yet remaining vigilant in fighting for what you deserve. He or she will guide you through the divorce process, advise you on the best direction for your case, and will assist you with negotiating a meaningful, and fruitful settlement.

Trisha Festerling, J.D.

Family Law Attorney

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