Parental Alienation in Illinois

Are you worried the other parent is turning your child against you? That’s not a fun thought to have. It leads to even more worries and doubts like questioning your own judgment, your future relationship with the child, and their safety.

If there was a one-off situation where your child was busy or wanted to spend extra time with the other parent, try not to look too deep into it. But if you are constantly being rejected or you notice their behaviors change drastically, you want an attorney to represent you.

This article explains how the court can help and what to look for to identify parental alienation.

Understanding Parental Alienation

Parental alienation is when a child tries to alienate or reject a parent without a good reason. This can be from small things to major things–from not wanting to talk as often to believing the parent is worthless.

Under Illinois law, for a parent to get custody of their child, they must be willing and able to encourage a close and continuing relationship with the other parent.^[1] So, if they prove they are unable to support a relationship with that parent, then the order should change. Whether the order is the temporary order during your case or the final order after the case, it can change if a parent is unable to put the child’s best interests first.

How the Courts Deal with Parental Alienation

The courts first look at whether parental alienation is occurring. The court conducts their own investigation and looks at evidence brought by the accusing parent.

The courts investigation is usually done by the guardian ad litem. They interview the child and the parents and try to understand the situation. The court has the right to seek advice from any professional when determining the best interests of the child.^[2] So, they also often look to experts like child psychologists or psychiatrists.

Once parental alienation is proved to be happening, there are a couple things the court can do:

• Contempt – The judge can hold the alienating parent in contempt of court if they are not following the court-ordered parenting plan. This allows the judge to impose penalties such as fines or jail time.
• Custody Modification – The court can change the allocation of parental responsibilities or parenting time if a judge believes the alienation is harming the child.
• Reunification Therapy – Parties can be ordered to get personal therapy or family reunification therapy. In reunification therapy, counselors attempt to help both the parents and the child to bring the family back together.^[3]

The judge only issues one of these actions if they see parental alienation has occurred.

Factors the Court Looks At

On its own, a child treating their parent poorly is not enough to establish alienation. In their investigation, the court has the legal and mental health professionals look at five main factors:

• Resistance to a relationship with the parent. This could be the child refusing to have meaningful interactions with their parent, or it could be the child refusing to talk to or see them.
• Loss of a previously positive relationship with the parent. This is looking at whether the relationship has deteriorated over time.
  The presence of abuse, neglect, or poor parenting. This is where the court looks to see if there are any valid reasons for the child not wanting to be with the parent they are avoiding.
• Negative attitudes and behavior toward a parent. This is where the court looks to understand the child. Children tend to act in certain ways when parental alienation is occurring.
• Behaviors by the alienating parent and others. This is where the court looks at any evidence against the parent who is causing the child to alienate the other parent.

The court doesn’t use the term parental alienation much, but the actions creating the alienation are key to modification cases. If you want help preparing for your hearing or want an attorney to represent you, call Sterling Lawyers, LLC.

How to Prepare for Your Case

Before your case begins, you have two main goals. The first is to collect evidence that can prove the other parent is causing the alienation. The second is to protect your child and yourself.

Here are some of the things you can do:

• Create a log, and track what the other parent says or does.
• Save any potentially incriminating emails, texts, or phone calls.
• Request in text or email to see the child for proof of your efforts.
• Remain consistent and persistent in communicating with the child.
• Look for counseling or therapy for you and/or your child.

Every situation is different, so keep reading for some common ways parental alienation can show up.

Types of Parental Alienation

Here are some key types of parental alienation you can look for:

• Relationship Disruption – A parent intentionally damaging the relationship the child has with the other parent.
• Coaching – A parent telling the child what to think and how to act. This can even go as far as telling a child to lie about abuse.
• Adultification – A parent inappropriately disclosing information about the other parent or about the legal case. This can seem like that parent seeking support from the child.
• Interfering with Contact – A parent not allowing the other to properly have their parenting time. This is anything from picking up the child early to making excuses to cancel a visit.

Further Explanation of Relationship Disruption

A parent disrupting the child’s relationship can come in many different forms. Here is a list of some examples to further define what relationship disruption can look like:

• Badmouthing the Other Parent – A parent being overly critical of the other parent. This parent tries to convince the child the other parent is dangerous, crazy, selfish, or even unworthy of the child’s love.
• Undermining the Child’s Relationship – A parent subtly showing the other parent cannot be trusted. This could be them getting the child to spy on the other parent or disrespect them in small ways like having them call that parent by their first name.
• Undermining the Other Parent – When one parent intentionally assets the other parent up for failure. One way this happens is by them refusing to provide information about school, medical care, or activities.
• Causing Rejection – Making the child feel guilty for loving the other parent or making the child choose between parents. For example, if a parent says they won’t go to a child’s activity if the other parent is there.

Parental alienation is a difficult and complicated topic. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.

Considerations