The Hidden Dangers Of Fighting Around The Kids During a Divorce
When parents fight in front of their kids, there are three things to keep in mind: emotional distress of the child(ren), maintaining civility in front of the child, and understanding your child's perspective.
In every marriage, having confrontations and fights is normal. There will always come a time in a relationship when the parties will disagree at a certain matter or will have different views about particular things. As long as parties do not harm each other, physically or emotionally, it is okay to get into such situations. However, when there is already violence involved, through words or actions, they are no longer healthy and must never be done in front of the kids. When a married couple fights in front of their children, there will always be negative effects on the latter.
The Emotional Danger
Children must grow in a loving and caring environment wherein they can feel security and happiness. It is the responsibility of the parents to teach them how to love and care for other people. This duty becomes nugatory when the mother and father exchange hurtful words in front of the children. When this happens, the kids will be placed in a state of confusion that would prevent them from developing and growing up to become better persons.
Keep Things Civil
When the misunderstanding between the spouses is already beyond reconciliation, the marriage is always bound to end up in divorce. During the pendency or after the finality of the divorce proceedings, the spouses must do all their best to avoid engaging in fights with each other. They must act civil at all times, especially when the kids are present. For every disagreement or irreconcilable difference, the spouses must leave it to their respective lawyers. As much as possible, all legal matters must only be handled by the attorneys in order to ensure that there is compliance of both remedial and substantive laws.
Understand Your Children
If the marriage is about to end, the persons who are greatly affected are the kids. They will start to feel fear and lack of security upon knowing that they will already be in a broken family. It is an important concern for them since they are afraid of rejection and loneliness. As much as possible, you need to make the kids understand what is happening. Talk to them about the divorce and explain why it has to happen. However, never talk negative things about the other spouse. It is not going to help and will only prevent your kids from moving on. What needs to be done is to make the children feel that you will always be there for them during this difficult time for the family.
If you're thinking about getting a divorce, please contact a lawyer for a consultation.
References: Fighting While in a Divorce
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