Rewarding Children to Lie

How Spouses will ask Children to Lie about a Spouse

Child custody cases are gut-wrenching at best and a terrible ordeal for the child at its worst. Parents sometimes take the “winning is everything” approach because of the anger and resentment they feel toward their former partner. They forget the anguish of the children involved, who don't quite understand what is happening in their lives as it is.

rewarding_children_lying_divorceIt's always best to try to come to an amicable agreement concerning the children but sometimes it just becomes an all-out war. The sad part is that parents have their children testify on the stand, but worse than that is coaching them to lie for them after they have spent years telling them to always be truthful. Preparing your child for his court appearance by telling them what to say is being cruel, whether you have them going on and on about what a great parent you are or talking bad about his other parent whom he probably loves as much as he loves you, or even worse, having them testify to things that never really happened.

If a child has to testify because the parents can't come to any suitable custody arrangements between them, and have to drag the child into court, should at least be allowed to speak their own mind, not yours, and let the courts take it from there. The judge involved in this case has probably presided over many like it and through his experience can spot a child that has obviously been coached on what to say.

At that point he or she will disregard the testimony and you have done nothing to assist your case, in fact, you have probably hurt it. The sad fact is that some parents just fight dirty and don't realize what they're doing to the child in their all-consuming desire for revenge or coming out the so called winner in a custody battle-the only loser, however, is the child.

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