Assessing our own actions can sometimes be a very difficult undertaking. The reason for this is because it is sometimes difficult to see our own faults. It is sometimes difficult to see where we need to improve. Seeing areas of weakness is something that, as parents, we sometimes cannot accept. We are prideful when it comes to our children and how we raise them. Although, we must realize, too, that assessing our actions from time to time is the only way we can truly know that we are staying on the path we decided upon when we first decided to become parents.

Self-assessments do not always mean we are even at fault of something, or that we are lost in the wilderness of parenthood. It merely means that we are taking the responsibility upon ourselves to do what is needed in order to ensure our children’s upbringing is optimal for them. It is to ensure that they are getting the most from us. It is what they deserve. The best from us.

The actions we take can range from being over protective, over nurturing, too lenient, to turning into a door mat. These are but a few examples as to how our own actions can lead to something else entirely unintended. Taking a step back from time to time and paying attention to how we actually respond – not how we justify responding in that way – but how we actually respond to certain situations can help us to identify our strengths and our weaknesses. It can help us to see where we can improve, and where we excel.

Assessing our own actions may be difficult, but when we remember that our actions are going to either negatively or positively affect our children well into adulthood, we begin to see the importance of the matter. We must be sure that the actions that we take are giving our children the best of us. We must be sure that it is giving them the absolute best that we have to offer for their present, and their future. This is the importance, and why it means so much that we sometimes must take a step back, breathe, and self-assess.

Trisha Festerling, J.D.

Family Law Attorney

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