Taking the time to try new things is critical to ensuring that your marriage keeps that special spark. Taking the time to make sure that not everything has to stay predictable keeps the interest alive. Understanding how the basic principles of interest and spontaneity work will ensure that your spouse always has something new to look forward to. That is a major component of maintaining and nurturing a happy and successful marriage.

One exercise you and your spouse can take part in revolves around your knowledge of one another. This exercise is called the Newlywed Game, after the famous TV show. It is a very fun game, and can lead to a lot of laughs. It can also teach you a lot about your partner that you didn’t know. In fact, that is kind of the goal. You and your spouse take a sheet of paper and write down questions about yourself, along with the answers. Only write one question and one answer per sheet. You may want to ask questions that you feel that your spouse should know about you. Write down about 20 questions each, or more.

You and your spouse then sit across from each other, but facing each other. Take turns asking each other a question. For example, “What was the name of my first pet?” It is then your spouse’s turn to answer. Whether your spouse answers right or wrong, you show them your page with the prewritten answer. This kind of exercise is perfect from time to time to help learn more about each other. It also provides that air of mystery. It adds to the interest need of the marriage, and creates the setting to ensure nothing is predictable.

Taking the time to offer this exercise to your spouse may even show an added layer of interest. This unpredictable behavior will elicit the response of interest, thus, adhering to the basic principles of spontaneity and interest.

Dan Exner, J.D.

Family Law Attorney

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