Knowing your partner is more than knowing how they take their coffee. It is more than knowing how their favorite color. It is more than knowing whether they prefer dogs or cats. It is about knowing their heart. It is about understanding how sensitive they can be. It is about looking at situations through their eyes, and not your own.
When you look at a marital problem through the eyes of your partner, you begin to understand that it is not always about right or wrong. It is about loving your spouse unconditionally, and being able to just agree to disagree sometimes. How does your spouse feel when you have to work late unexpectedly? How does it make your spouse feel when your ex suddenly calls? How does it make your spouse feel when you have to cancel out on a family activity day?
To get more specific, how does it make your wife feel when you have to watch at least part of the game on Valentine’s Day, a family day, or your anniversary? How does your husband feel when you choose to go out with the girls, as opposed to staying in with him? These questions should always be asked before any decisions are made. Some of these questions should be asked before deciding whether or not to even bring the possibility up to your spouse.
Looking at a situation through the eyes of your spouse does not simply mean, “How would it feel if I did that to you?” Looking at a situation through the eyes of your spouse means that you understand your spouse well enough to know exactly how it would make them feel. If we approached every situation in this manner, it would not only demonstrate our love for our wife or husband, it would illustrate our resolve to acting in the best interest of our spouse in all things. This is living up to the vow that was taken, and living up to the commitment of always putting our spouse first.
Family Law Attorney