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The book, “The Love Dare”, was a book written by Alex and Stephen Kendrick. The book is a Christian devotional guide to improving your marriage. No matter your personal religious beliefs, there is no mistaking the value of this book when it comes to your relationship with your partner. The book revolves around a 40 day regimen to increase the strengths and bonds of marriage. It cites from the Bible, and gives an explanation of the quote for a deeper understanding of its meaning. Here, we will take an in depth look at the benefits of some of the dares of the book. This is not a review, this is a breakdown of the deeper meanings behind some of the dares. We will also discuss their real-world application, and possible outcomes. When it comes to your marriage, wouldn’t you do anything to try to save it?luvdr

“Love is Patient”. The dare primarily says not to say a negative word to your spouse for the entire day. Not one. This may seem like an easy task, but is it really? This task becomes even harder for those who are experiencing major communication issues. Resentment and heartache may also play a significant role in hindering this task. Some may not even want to exercise this dare. But is it really worth it? The answer is yes. When you made your vow of marriage, you entered into a partnership. In a marriage, your words should never be used to tear down your spouse. Your words should only be used to make your wife or husband stronger. Words can hurt, especially when hurtful words are said by the person you love. Being patient with your significant other’s mistakes or defects of character is something you should be able to do willingly, without being pressed. Patience should be a natural reaction when it comes to the one you love. A possible outcome is reciprocation. Practicing this behavior may result in your partner providing you with the same patience and understanding. Imagine that, a life where the words exchanged between you and your spouse are always uplifting and positive; even during times of disagreement.

“Love is Kind”. This dare asks that in addition to using your words to uplift your spouse, commit to one random act of kindness. Remember when you couldn’t wait to do something special for your partner, just to see them smile? When did that end? Why did it end? Maybe you should take a look in the mirror. Relationships go both ways. It is never one-sided. Committing to a random act of kindness each and every day shows that you still care. It shows that you still value the person your spouse is. It shows that you love and appreciate your partner in life. The real-world application means that each day, you have taken your partner’s needs in mind. You have considered them. To do this each day demonstrates your love and committal to the marriage. It shows you still care. The possible outcome? Again, reciprocation. Imagine a life where every day you and the one you love take the time to do something kind for one another. It doesn’t have to be big, it just has to be from the heart.

“Love is not Rude”. This dare suggests that you ask your partner to tell you three of your behavioral issues that make them upset or irritated. You are not to defend yourself, or to make promises to change. You are only to listen to their perspective without interjecting your own. This is not a discussion. This is an exercise in listening and understanding only. In the real-world this is next to impossible, but it can be done. If you truly your partners feelings, you will give them this. Let them get out these things that they feel. It may hurt at first, but this is also an exercise in honesty. If that is the case, wouldn’t you want to know how your spouse truly feels about your actions? Wouldn’t you want to give the one you love the best possible version of yourself? A possible outcome is that they may, in turn, want you to tell them the same thing. However, this is not why you do this dare. You do this for unselfish reasons. You do this solely for them. You may not get anything out of this exercise – at first – this is for the person you love.

These exercises are more for the spirit of your marriage, rather than a form of instant gratification. These dares seek a long-term effect, beginning with finding the source of the marital decay, and fixing the root causes. The most prominent being communication.


Dan Exner, J.D.

Family Law Attorney

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